Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Tweed to Place Entire Schools on MTA

Tweed has changed the locations of schools (ie, Bronx parents who got their kids into a school fairly convenient travel wise and expected them to spend their 4 years there just love it when they are told the school is moving to Brooklyn) on the fly. But there is a solution. Following up on a recent Ed Notes scoop (Tweed Solves Problem of ATR/Student Nomads), we have learned that these schools will now be placed in the last car of the A train on its Washington Heights to Rockaway run - and back.

"It's a win-win," said new Tweed spokesperson David Cant. "Instead of building schools we use current infrastructure in underutilized cars and will pay the MTA for the use of these cars and the installation of portable Smart Boards." Tweed will also contribute to the upgrade of the speaker systems in the subway cars so the constant announcements of principals can be heard more clearly.

SOS (Schools on Subways) will start at 10am after the rush hour and end at 3pm before the evening rush. An extension of the program set to run from 12 midnight to 4AM is being negotiated with the MTA.

7 comments:

  1. The train idea is being rubber stamped by the Vichy UFT.
    The union wants to use cattle cars.

    The general direction of the trains will be to the east to Birkenau and Dachau, in keeping with Reich Chancellor Bloomberg's wishes.

    Non members of the Unity party will receive special treatment such as those already in the rubber rooms.

    Reich Chancellor Bloomberg and Vice Chancellor Kleiner Shvance have recently announced plans to build showers for delousing at the various work/Teacher Relocation Centers all over our blessed Fatherland.

    We fervently hope that Fieldmarshall Cantor will soon announce a final solution for those disgusting diseased teachers who are quite obviously subhumans since they achieved tenure.

    All hail the Supreme Leader Barrack Appollo Creed Obama and his minister of edumacation Oberstanfuhrer Duncan who will continue to assist the Reich Chancellor and his little Shvance in getting rid of all those subhuman tenure types.

    Angry Arayan Nog

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  2. They could use the advertising boards as bulletin boards showing off exemplary student work with rubrics and authentic comments. Different classes or subjects could have different stations and upgated monthly of course.
    Luckily the A train is above ground for about 30 minutes so they could be in contact with the rest of the world.
    And let's not forget the advantage of being the train to the plane...

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  3. Students who are on "track" to graduate in 4 years will take the express trains ONLY.

    The other students will have no choice but to take the local trains (credit recovery) in order to graduate. Principals will most likely change these students stops from the local stops to the express stops. OSI (Office of Subway Inquiries) will probably investigate the alleged change and then SCI (Subway Connectors Investigation) will also look into this. Of course the Progess Report and the Quality Report will not be publicized until all Metrocards have been looked at these alleged subway schools that made these subway stops changes.

    However, in one particular subway school the superconductor will still get her $25,000 bonus and will continue to ride the subways until the investigation is completed. The superconductor was given a waiver and she's allowed to swipe her metrocard at any time.

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  4. What happened to the dining car?Breakfast, lunch ,snack and dinner must be served!

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  5. S,M.A.R.T. Goals will flash across the sign which previously showed which stop was next. Not a bad idea. Reduction of excessive paper work!

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  6. Isn't "shvance" or "schwantz" German slang for "penis"?

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=schwantz

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  7. All teachers will be hauled to railyards at 2:20PM for 37.5 minute break inspection. More lubrication will be suggested around the ball-bearings, so rub gently around the ARIS.

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