NYCDOE Appoints CEO of "Broad Prize Banners and Flags"

EDNOTESNEWS (EDNN) Reports:

Mayor Michael Bloomberg has appointed his old pal Smellington G. Worthington III, the founder of BFER (Billionaires for Educational Reform), to a newly created position as the CEO in charge of "Hanging Broad Prize Banners and Flags." Worthington will generously take a pay cut and work for a nominal salary of $225,000 a year. "It's my civic duty to serve the poor children of New York," said Worthington.

"Imagine their glee when upon arriving at school every morning from their little hovels, they will gaze upon the banners celebrating the wonderful achievement of our winning the Broad Prize, something we will use to get Michael Bloomberg elected as president."

Chancellor Joel Klein has appointed Alvarez and Marsal as consultants on the project for a $5 million a year. "We were lucky to get A & M so cheap," said a DOE spokesperson, citing their historical expertise in being able to find just the right spot to hang a banner. "That is not an easy thing to do and we just don't have people with those kinds of skills currently working in the Department," said the spokesperson, "particularly since they were ordered NOT to hang the banners on a school's exterior wall." [See DOE announcement to Principals below.]

The money for A & M was raised privately from the profits from foreclosing on the homes of people ruined by sub-prime rate mortgages.

Bloomberg will hire a fleet of skywriting airplanes to blanket the skies with facsimiles of the Broad banner and flag.

NYC schools received notice of these banners in Joel Klein's weekly Principal's Weekly (more popularly know as The WEAKLY) with this item:

Delivery of Broad Prize Banners and Flags
All schools / Event: This week
The Broad Foundation has provided us with flags and banners for our schools. These are in recognition your hard work that helped New York City win the 2007 Broad Prize for Urban Education. You will be receiving one banner and one flag during the next week. They will be delivered to your building's general office, to your attention. Your custodial staff can assist you in determining how to display the flag and the banner. Keep in mind that you should not hang the banner on the exterior of your building, since it is likely to be blown around in inclement weather. For additional information, contact the borough facilities director at your ISC.

Here are the joyous reactions of some parents on the nyceducation news listserve:

We were dumbfounded when it arrived this morning. "We need _____" (fill in the blank with any NUMBER of things), "and they spent how much money on THIS?" - BB

There is a huge banner in my school of congratulations to the NYC Dept of Education as broad prize winner. Its like 8 FT wide! What we really need is wiring , not a huge banner, LOL. Any other schools have one? - L