Fred Smith: The Day Before Xmas (With Arne Duncan and John King)

Don't mean to spoil this season, but it's truly a bummer;
The DD logo really stands for dumber and dumber. ... Fred Smith

Heeeeere's Fred:

Tis the day before Christmas and I figured out something
About the devious marriage of John King - Arne Duncan.

Like all else they have done, it's not about education.
No, their goal is to take over our fat, fast-food nation.

It's really quite easy to discover the end game;
Their two year plan is as obvious as what's in a name.

We hear that America Runs (To The Top) on Duncan.
The slogan and donuts and coffee have long since sunk in.

And who's behind the Big Whopper more than John 'Burger' King!
So, the Duncan-King merger is a natural thing.

But because of their backgrounds, they have come up with a twist
Of catchy choice items that will go on their menu list.

There's the Double Cross San'wich Meal loved by Andrew Cuomo;
Have It His Way, or else you'll need more than a Bromo.

And Campbell's Hash Browns will honor the justice she seeks;
While she knows less about teaching each time that she speaks.

There's the Bloomberger slider -- only two ounces of meat;
You should be done in two bites, but beware it will repeat.

And Rhee Burger! Rhee Burger! is about to be added;
We're sure its nutritional value was greatly padded.

King couldn't resist the all-new Common Core on a bun.
Looking for a burger in between? You'll find there is none.

Now in races Arne with an assortment of sweets
For all kids and their parents he brings many treats.

There's a special on lemon-filled for each Long Island mom.
While Stars and Stripes donuts salute his NCLB bomb.

He makes sure all munchkins are sugared, jellied and glazed
As they prep for rigorous tests that will leave them half-crazed.

And his preservatives and false flavors ain't going away;
He's building capacity to reach every Pre-K.

Soon high school grads will get jobs in a Duncan-King store
Taking orders for burgers and donuts -- Kids of the Core.

Making minimum wages, and will it really be strange
When they take in cash for their bosses but they can't make change?

Don't mean to spoil this season, but it's truly a bummer;
The DD logo really stands for dumber and dumber.

~fred smith