Bloomberg and Weingarten to Tie The Knot

When I saw this old picture of BloomGarten over at NYC Educator, where Schoolgal is running a contest for the best caption (some good ones already, so get in there before the deadline), I was reminded of this piece in the Feb. 2002 Ed Notes hard copy edition.

Bloomberg and Weingarten to Tie The Knot

In an attempt to forge an alliance that would result in a fast track towards a new teachers’ contract, UFT President Randi Weingarten and Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced their engagement. Shocked members of the press bombarded the happy couple with questions. “I know he’s short,” said Weingarten. “But I’m shorter.” “Michael and Randi have had a wonderful relationship for a long time,” said a UFT spokesperson. “She was even his date at a dinner a few years ago. And the sweater gift---that was the clincher.” As part of the engagement agreement, the Mayor’s 22 year old daughter Emma will become the new Chancellor. It was also announced that the UFT & Bloomberg, LP will merge into a new firm to be called BLUFT.

The couple will live in the fancy penthouse digs atop the new UFT headquarters near Ground Zero, enabling both to walk to work. “Michael won’t have to take the subway anymore,” said Randi. The expected savings on the train pass have graciously been donated by Bloomberg towards the new contract.


While perusing the Feb. 02 edition, I came across some other stuff to share:

Delegates Vote to Shut Lights, but Not to Turn Them Back on

In a wondrous display of democracy, Randi Weingarten asked delegates at the Jan (02) DA if they wanted the lights shut so they could better see the wondrous slide show of the wondrous new downtown buildings. For the next 20 minutes, delegates got some much needed sleep. Unfortunately, the lights were turned back on suddenly without a vote being taken, an indication of how the union leadership manipulates democracy for its own ends. Delegates were outraged at being awaken so suddenly. Ed. Notes sponsors the following resolution:

RESOLVED: all future Delegate Assemblies be held in the dark. Union leaders would no longer waste time and money trying to pull the wool over the eyes of delegates.

There was actually some serious stuff in there, especially on the governance issue, where we trash Randi for supporting mayoral control. I put one piece up on Norms Notes:

Ed Notes on Governance, c., Feb 2002

Here are the jokes from that issue (why do you think people read Ed Notes at the time, for my brilliant insights?)

This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments.

In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards,
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. he fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, “a man doth not live by sweat alone.”
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

NEW READING TEST REVEALED
Here are some more words that will appear on this year’s reading tests. Start preparing your children now!

Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

Pinkey Opposes Referendum

Ed Notes reprint: Jan. 2004

by Pinkey the Cat

Hi guys! I saw that piece by my sister Pippin in the last issue. Yeah! She’s the brains behind this operation! She leaves her brains in the litter box every time she uses it.

Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about those 115,000 people who signed petitions to Reduce Cat Size. I am glad Mayor Bloomberg got that off the ballot. I am perfectly happy being the size I am. If that referendum had passed I might have ended up being the size of my shrimp sister (who at least I can still beat up.)

Imagine the costs to this society if we reduce the size of every cat. Where is the money going to come from? Why there must be a hundred countries we haven’t invaded yet. That 89 billion for Iraq is practically gone. And I was hoping it would be invested in Friskies research. I urge you to stand firm against the "reduction of cat size" referendum.

Er...what did you say?

You mean it's "Class size"?

Never mind.

Bloomberg and Weingarten to Tie The Knot -2/02

With the hot video of Bloomberg's roast of Weingarten at her 50th birthday bash floating around - see NYC Educator) some people seemed surprised at the cozy relationship.

But Ed Notes was on the case with this article in February 2002.

Photo from NY Times (not photoshopped other to sharpen the image.)

In an attempt to forge an alliance that would result in a fast track towards a new teachers’ contract, UFT President Randi Weingarten and Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced their engagement. Shocked members of the press bombarded the happy couple with questions. “I know he’s short,” said Weingarten. “But I’m shorter.” “Michael and Randi have had a wonderful relationship for a long time,” said a UFT spokesperson. “She was even his date at a dinner a few years ago. And the sweater gift---that was the clincher.” As part of the engagement agreement, the Mayor’s 22 year old daughter Emma will become the new Chancellor. It was also announced that the UFT & Bloomberg, LP will merge into a new firm to be called BLUFT.

The couple will live in the fancy penthouse digs atop the new UFT headquarters near Ground Zero, enabling both to walk to work. “Michael won’t have to take the subway anymore,” said Randi. The expected savings on the train pass have graciously been donated by Bloomberg towards the new contract.

In December 2001 we had this article:

UFT Endorses Bloomberg
Barely an hour after he had officially won the Mayoralty election, an emergency session of the UFT Delegate Assembly was called to endorse Michael Bloomberg, The ex post facto endorsement came at 1 AM on Nov. 7 It is considered somewhat unusual, though not unprecedented in the UFT, to endorse a candidate after he had already won the election.
There were immediate results. Randi Weingarten was one of the thousands added to the Bloomberg Transition Team.

A member of the union hierarchy defended the move. “Our leaders know exactly what they are doing. It was brilliant to endorse three losing candidates in a row. That was their strategy all along. Witness the fact that with every loss, all the other candidates came panting after our endorsement like dogs in heat. With only Michael left in the race, sadly, we had no choice but to endorse a winner. We are so excited at the potential of this political strategy, we plan on endorsing only losers in the future. The political clout of the UFT is greater than ever.”

The 35 people present at the DA voted almost unanimously in favor of the Bloomberg endorsement as “opposition caucus New Action delegates made rousing speeches supporting the leadership. An attempted quorum call (over 500 delegates must be present to transact business) was compared by Weingarten to recent terrorist acts. As the quorum caller was hauled from the room, Unity Caucus delegates cursed and shouted their outrage that the quorum caller was being divisive and undemocratic. Weingarten then apologized for her statements, saying, ““We are all under a lot of pressure.” New Action delegates made more rousing speeches supporting the leadership.

Ed. Notes Has No (Great) Expectations

While rummaging through the Feb. '02 edition of Ed Notes I came across this article. The Exec Bd meeting referred to probably took place in Jan. '02 and Randi Weingarten was hinting that someone was leaking info from the meetings to the NY Post, looking at me while she said it. If anyone was leaking it was surely her people, if not she herself. This was a very short time after Bloomberg was elected and the honeymoon was still on, which by the way I still think never really ended no matter what has been said. A great cartoon if you just change the location and author. (Any photoshop experts out there who want to take a shot?)

At a recent Ex. Bd. meeting, Randi Weingarten made some comments regarding Ed. Notes. She seemed to feel that Ed. Notes was holding her to certain [unattainable?] standards. Or perhaps she assumed the laptop computer being used by the Ed. Notes reporter had a direct link to the NY Post.

Weingarten should be assured that Ed. Notes holds her to no standards.
We know that there will never be changes in the Taylor Law, no matter how many of our endorsed candidates get elected.
We have no expectations that she will deliver a contract with anything of substance other than money.
She will continue the tradition of her predecessors of promoting a contract that has been basically unchanged in over 30 years.
We don’t expect her to address the horrendous working conditions, the demoralization of teachers (Will a big raise really solve THAT problem?), the large class sizes, the negative impact of testing, etc., etc., etc.
We do not expect her to try to find long-term solutions to the many problems that teachers and schools face.
We do expect her to continue to put the bulk of our union’s energy into short term crisis management and into the political arena.
By the way: the Ed. Notes reporter was playing Solitaire on the laptop and wasn’t even listening. We’ve heard it all before.

Ed Notes Reprint Feb. 02