Saturday, December 25, 2021

Fred Smith 2021 edition of his Annual ‘Twas the night before Christmas - in Daily News

I first met Fred, a testing expert who used to work as a statistician for the old NYCBOE, when he contacted me about getting ICE members to assist in gathering data for his exposures of the evils of testing I think sometime around 2008. He then got involved with groups like GEM and Change the Stakes and was a co-winner with me and Danny Dromm of Leonie Haimson's Skinny Award in 2018 - (June 19 - I'm a Skinny: Honored to be honored by Leonie Haimson along with the Great Danny Dromm and Fred Smith.)

Fred Smith has done it again for 2021 with is yearly Xmas specials.

Fred Smith with his annual 'Twas The Night Before Xmas—2021

Here are his previous years, each with a different theme. 2019 seems to be absent.
Fred is also a statistician for the NY Jets - don't blame him for their absence from the Super Bowl for over 50 years.

Fred Smith convincing Jets dancers to boycott field tests - he's the one in the middle

‘Twas the night before Christmas: 2021 edition
By FRED SMITH                             NEW YORK DAILY NEWS                DEC 24, 2021 AT 5:00 AM
[Text in red was not part of the DN article. Thanks to Fred for the mention.]


In a year filled with trauma on this Christmas Eve,
I’d just taken a booster shot under my sleeve.
 
And then starting to fade in-and-out woozy,
I dreamt of getting a hot tub jacuzzi.
Soon my vision was clouded, my eyesight grew dim
As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t spot him.
 
For the guy in the red suit had been chased away.
I saw Amazon trucks, not his wonderful sleigh.
And with Bezos’ boxes flying off of the shelves,
Santa couldn’t find work for his beloved elves.
 
But he emailed the names on his naughty-guy list,
And said what he’d have given each one as a gift.
His roll covered miscreants across all levels
From the state to the fed to a broad range of devils:
 
For Andrew, a thick pair of anti-grope mitts;
Melissa gets valium to curb her mean fits.
A special surprise awaits Jim Malatras:
Strong itching powder to rub in his gatkes.
 
To those congressmen who block legislation,
Cartons of Ex-Lax to relieve constipation.
For roadblock senators Manchin and Sinema,
Dollars for programs far more than the minima.
 
And Donald gets a golden bowlful of kale,
And sentenced to life in a health foodie jail.
A Clorox colada for his counselor Rudy,
And Mitch gets a voracious turtleneck cootie.
 
Community service — what Trump’s racist friends need,
Posting BLM banners ‘til their hateful hands bleed.
And to all the crazies of his insurrection,
Poison pills to choke down for the “stolen election.”
 
And fittingly, for all climate change deniers,
Full-time sweat labor putting out raging fires.
For all anti-vaxxers and anti-mask wearers,
The names and addresses of local pallbearers.
To Proud Boy gents and those QAnon ladies,
Immediate transport to hovels in Hades.
 
For the same “Breaking News!” droning on all the day,
Cable news gets a free pass to go far away.
 
For donors and lobbyists who bought Mayor Bill,
A backhoe that recoups their ill-gotten fill.
For Michael Mulgrew and his right of retention,
50 years to teach shop for a Tier 20 pension.
 
To Pearson executives, who are truly villains
Killing 8-year-old minds with bubble sheet fill-ins:
Here’s an endless supply of sharp No. 2s
To suck all the lead out, as your brains start to ooze.
 
The roster of evil includes many foul names
Equally worthy of being consigned to the flames.
So, he filled up their stockings with hot burning coals,
An appropriate payment for selling their souls.
 
From the time I came under my glum Pfizer-ish fog
He hadn’t named anyone on his A+ log.
Such a negative Santa made me melancholy
There was no ho, ho, ho; what happened to jolly?
 
Then suddenly he sent me a rose-colored wink
To show that his spirit was still in the pink.
 
Reminding me how he loves kids most of all
And those who protect them who won’t let our schools fall.

So, all was not bleak on this dark Yuletide night;
The greatest gifts always go to those who do right,
Who like his own reindeer outlast any storm
With unblinking vision to create a new norm.
 
On Leonie fiercely striving to lower class size;
On Ravitch and Burris puncturing charter school lies;
On Rosa and Cashin up high, seeing the light
On Rebell and Jackson, winning equity’s fight
There’s steady Norm Scott always keeping the score
With faith in our teachers who deserve so much more.
And Jeanette and Lisa working at the grass roots.
Giving parents their voices and speaking the truth
 
Though the online business has invaded our lives
“Yes, Virginia” still lives; and kindness survives.
 
Smith is a former city Department of Education official.

 

1 comment:

  1. Fabulous! I absolutely LOVE lines 17 -18, 23-24 and of course the last three stanzas!

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