Eva Moskowitz Deals With Armageddon

Dear Mike and Dennis,

As you may be aware, the world will be coming to an end in 3 weeks and I am particularly perturbed at your failure to address some important concerns. Obviously my intention to open 40 Success charter schools is in some danger.

But all is not lost if we move fast. Therefore I am calling on the evacuation of as many public schools as feasible and the turning over of the buildings to me within 24 hours so my team can get moving offering parents the choice they have been denied by the actions of the UFT.

We have to look at this as a much greater opportunity than Hurricane Katrina offered in New Orleans to remake the schools in our image. But we only have 3 weeks to do it so let's get moving.

I can assure you that every single Success Academy school will remain open to the very last minute. Between you and me, I am expecting to remain open beyond the day of destruction due to divine intervention, at which point I expect to finally become the Mayor of NYC, which I have long dreamed of.

Looking forward to our collaboration.

Eva

PS: I already have heard from Randi Weingarten who is eager to work with me on this project. She said she would give it her highest priority.