Tired at being barricaded inside their zoned schools, a group of Scarsdale residents have asked some Harlem African-American ministers to open a charter school in Scarsdale, NY. They will urge space be found to cram it in to a current public school. The school will be called "Scarsdale Success" and will be modeled on former NYC City Council member Eva Moskowitz' "Harlem Success" school.
"It is not fair to the people in that community that charter schools are only being opened by white people for black residents in Harlem," said a spokesperson. "Free choice of schools should be open to white folks too. Why should the good people in Scarsdale have to send their children to a conscripted public school without having the freedom to choose alternatives? Our individual rights are being subverted in favor of some misguided notion of collectivism that favors the status quo."
"But they aren't they wealthy enough to send their kids to private schools if they are not happy with the public schools," we asked?
The spokesperson said:
"Do you know what they pay in taxes to support the public schools? A portion of that money should go to open a variety of charter schools so they can have a choice. What if a parent is not happy with the progressive curriculum and wants their kids to have a test-prep-all-day education like the kids in Harlem? What if a parent is sick of all the trips and excursions their kids go on and prefer they stay in school all day and work to close the achievement gap with Shaker Heights, Ohio? What if you are a minority in the community and you don't want to go to the school with the majority-chosen principal? The only model that avoids the tyranny of the majority and respects the individual rights of parents and students is the school choice model."
Won't cramming a charter school into an existing public school cause class sizes to rise? "Class size is overrated. Better to have a class of 50 with a good teacher than a class of 10 with a low quality teacher," said the spokesperson.
"I'm sick of having to elect school boards and having a say in running our schools," said a Scarsdale supporter of the plan. "We want what the residents of Harlem have – no say at all in how their schools are run. Liek them, we want outsiders to come in and take the burden off our hands by telling us how to run our schools. I've noticed too many of our kids do not look at the teachers and nod on cue." We want some Kipp of our own.
Some Scarsdale residents plan to petition Mayor Bloomberg and Joel Klein to come in and take over their schools. "Better yet," said a parent leader, "we hope Eva Moskowitz gets off her missionary kick and comes on down."
Scarsdale middle school will have to make room for a charter school, causing a rise in class size.
3 comments:
Love it, Norm.
I thought I was in Ed Notes Humor. Very funny.
Hilarious! You've managed to put all the little status quo talking points in one satirical post!
What's funny is that the Scarsdale public schools are good enough not to need charter schools precisely BECAUSE of school choice. Most parents in Scarsdale - even those who send their kids to the public schools - can afford private school, so the public schools have to perform or they will be shut down. So the public schools are good. If they weren't, I'd be all for placing a charter school in the district school building. (how that raises class size is beyond me - the charter students are coming from the district, right?)
Great work proving my point!
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