Monday, December 28, 2009

Tweed Solves Problem of ATR/Student Nomads

With the announced closing of 20 schools about to create an enormous number of ATRs, teachers without positions and students with no nearby schools to attend, the high priced consultants at Tweed have shown their worth by coming up with a brilliant solution.

"We know that both ATR teachers and students will be spending many hours on the subway looking for a school," said TJ Pimplish, a Tweed spokesperson. "All they have to do is meet in a subway car and learn while travelling the subway system. Subway cars can hold up to 200 people, but class sizes will be limited to 100."

The DOE will sign a contract worth $2 billion with IBM for ARIS Eight, a computer system that will keep track of the moving trains and its passengers.

ED NOTE: Make sure to check out some fun comments.


Pogue said...

The "Keep it Moving, NYC", Bloomberg subway ads will now be "Learn While Moving, NYC". Brilliant.

Bing! Bong! Watch the closing a decent career.

Anonymous said...

Since students and ATRS will now "Learn While Moving, NYC", is it possible to go back to "track"ing students?

Do you think there will be more students on the "A" train or the "C, D, or F" trains?

Will the "Point of Entry" Lesson Model be modified to have students grouped by the turnstiles or by the number of subway xfers students must do or by subway lines (IRT, BRT, etc.)?

If students go from one train car to another, will that be considered an infraction of cutting or not being in his/her assigned location?

Do the G&T students go in the front car of the train and the special needs students in the last car with the paras?

I truly concerned about the bi-monthly staff meetings for all the ATRS. Having them in a moving car makes it very difficult for the presenter to show all those boring powerpoint presentations.

Choo, choo, who knew it would end up this way.

BloomKlein thank you for making it so incredibly difficult to be a student and a teacher in NYC! Don't forget to go to other states so you can ruin it there, too.

Anonymous said...

Very witty. Too bad the disastrous absurdities of Tweed make all outrageous things possible.

dazed and confused said...

But, will they be issued metro-cards, or be forced to jump turnstiles?

Anonymous said...

to dazed and confused,

BloomKlein or Kleinberg administration has forced principals to cheat and lie about graduation rates through the bogus credit recovery programs, has forced teachers, out of fear of retribution from principals, to pass students through social promotion, and most likely, will force students to jump turnstiles out of the necessity to get school because they can't afford to pay for a metrocard.

Tyranny is thriving in NYC! Stalin, Lenin, Mussolini, Franco and every facist, autocratic, despot that had ever lived before would be so proud of BloomKlein's oppressive managerial top-down approach to education.