Saturday, August 11, 2012

Breaking: John White Is Missing Link Between Vampires and Humans

John White emerged from a nonhomosapiens branch of robot-like hominids that show no emotion under any circumstances, especially when hearing the pleas of children of color to keep their schools open.

John White as he emerges at twilight
John White, side view
Former Tweedie (and TFAer) John White as the czar of New Orleans and Louisiana schools, has teamed up with Gov. Bobby Jindal to offer vouchers to schools, even those that will not teach evolution but creationism.

This led the crack Ed Notes sleuths to look deep into White's fossil history after reading this NY Times piece "New Fossils Indicate Early Branching of Human Family Tree," on the assumption that White may come from a branch formerly thought to be extinct.

We discovered that at one point deep in our past a branch of the hominid tree thought to be extinct consisted of people so white that even the name White doesn't do them justice:  Robot-like hominids that show no emotion under any circumstances, especially when children of color from closing schools plead to keep their schools open. But the key finding, that these hominids were nocturnal gave us the clue we needed:

John White is the missing link between vampires and homo sapiens.
There is hope. Bobby Jindal's views on exorcism indicate that he and White might hand over public money to schools that teach exorcism with the hope that White's bloodless look and lack of emotion might be cured by an exorcism that would enable White to emerge from his sleeping quarters during daylight hours.

Will Jindal exorcism allow John White to sleep in a bed?
Finally, we discovered this item that critical of the Ed Notes findings:
Tim White, an evolutionary biologist from University of California Berkeley said that it’s “(S)imilar to someone looking at the jaw of a female gymnast in the Olympics, the jaw of a male shot-putter, ignoring the faces in the crowd and deciding the shot-putter and gymnast have to be a different species.”
Afterburn: links to articles

Louisiana Voucher Program: Crazy 'Facts' Students Will Be Taught Under Bobby Jindal's Program 

14 Wacky "Facts" Kids Will Learn in Louisiana's Voucher Schools

  1. JIndal's education department refuses to release voucher record

    Questions about voucher program

    The Daily Advertiser-Jul 31, 2012
    After the Board of Elementary and Secondary Education approved state Superintendent John White's version of accountability for voucher ...

    Gov. Bobby Jindal's administration should tell the whole story on ... 10, 2012
    Ellis Lucia, The Times-Picayune archiveJohn White, Louisiana state ... The voucher program is designed to allow lower-income students who ...

    Will John White follow through on standards?: Stephanie Grace 22, 2012
    ... that get taxpayer funds through the expanding Jindal-backed voucher program. ... Which brings us back the question, who is John White?

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